“It was the roar of the crowd, that gave me heartache to sing.”-MCR
I miss music. I miss losing myself in the melodies. I miss the confidence I once had. The confidence in my talent, my lyrics, my music, my voice. Sometimes I wish i could go back to August 2009. I miss the atmosphere of being surrounded by talented musicians. True, my voice has progressed significantly since then, but I was so much more confident and inspired back then. To be honest, I think I have been broken. Broken by societal pressure, parental pressure, self-pressure. When my dream of going to Berklee College of Music was shot down I think I gave up on my dream all together. It breaks my heart to think of it. Why is it so wrong for a talented girl to want to pursue her dreams? I wish I could stand up to all the nay-sayers out there. I wish I was courageous. I wish I could truly live Sine Timore.
So many people in this world are afraid to dream. Afraid that if they let themselves dream, they are doomed to be disappointed with reality. I am not one of these people, nor do I believe this in any way. I… am a dreamer. I dream. At the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy I will say this…In dreams I can be anyone, anything… I can do the things I’ve always wanted to and maybe someday actually gain the courage to do them. As for those people who believe dreams lead to disappointment in reality… yeah right. I believe reality needs dreams. Dreaming creates a more dreamlike reality. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? What if I could live a dreamlike life? This… is exactly what I intend to do. Yes, I am a dreamer. And I plan to fully utilize this to my advantage. I will create a better reality through dreams, through realizing dreams. Why hold back? After all, as Erich Fromm wrote, “A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul.” There is something deeply personal about each and every dream. They are like little sneak-peeks into our subconscious. Formed by our beliefs, desires, memories, experiences, choices, and everything else that makes us who we are… there is no reason not to dream…
Maybe this makes no sense at all, maybe I’m just rambling on like a crazy fool… but you have to admit, even the craziest of rambling fools has some grain of truth in what they speak. So hear me… hear my dream for a dreamlike world… hear my plea to free your mind and just look at the world, at the beauty that surrounds us. Lay on your back and just stare at the sky in reverie. I beg of you to wake from your mundane lives and dream a dream to change the world. This is me… a dreamer daring to dream in a dreamless world… won’t you join me?
Dreamlike Life 